I Can Hear You Dreaming
by bad-wolf-and-her-lonely-angel
Summary: The Doctor has a few things to think about while Rose is asleep one morning. Oneshot, songfic based on Christina Perri's "Distance." Rose/Ten.


**A/N: Another oneshot for you guys! I'm so excited about this one. I heard this song on the radio and literally every synapse in my body went ROSE AND TEN ROSE AND TEN ROSE AND TEN THIS IS A SONGFIC ABOUT ROSE AND TEN WRITE IT COURTNEY WRITE IT YOU WRITE THAT SHIT RIGHT NOW. So I wrote it. I wrote that shit. I wrote it right now. Yeah man. Okay, so it's late and I'm tired but it's DONE you guys and I hope you really, really like it. I also think that maybe, if I did this right, you'll be really pissed off at me by the end. If you are, then I did my job. We'll see. Please review and maybe check out my other DW fics? Oh, and listen to this song! Love you all! **

**bad-wolf-and-her-lonely-angel**

**Pairing: Rose/Ten**

**Song: Distance by Christina Perri**

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**I Can Hear You Dreaming**

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The Doctor strolled down the staircase inside the TARDIS, hands shoved into his pockets, whistling softly. He had never needed much sleep, his Time Lord body only requiring a few hours to recharge every couple days or so. Even if he tried to sleep more than that, the constant babble inside his head would keep him awake anyway. As he reached the floor that was the home to the TARDIS library, which is where he was heading, he noticed an open door. It was, coincidentally, the one that led to the room that Rose had claimed for herself. Silently, he slipped inside.

It had been hard for him to adjust to her companionship in so many ways, and this was one of them. He had forgotten, with so many years of travelling alone, that humans needed so much sleep. Rose, in particular, did not function properly without her required eight hours a night. And by that he meant that she got really, really cranky. He walked as quietly as he could, taking care not to step on the creaky floorboards with his worn cream-colored trainers. He had this room memorized, of course. The dark wood of the floor, the pale green of the bedding, the picture frames on the nightstand that Rose had carefully arranged… the beautiful blonde girl curled up inside the four-poster bed.

_Sun is filling up the room and I can hear you dreaming_

_Do you feel the way I do right now?_

The Doctor pulled back the gauzy white curtains that had been drawn shut for the night, looking down at Rose. She was lying on her back, hair spilling over the pillow like liquid gold, one arm resting on top of the comforter. She was breathing softly, an easy, slow rhythm of inhaling and exhaling. The strap of her tank top had slipped, revealing the pale skin of her shoulder. The Doctor went to fix it, before hesitating and pulling his hand back. He liked it where it was.

These moments were some of the Doctor's favorite, when Rose was asleep. Not because it gave him some much needed time to think without her constant presence and questions and _what does this button do, Doctor?_ No, it was because he just really, really loved watching her sleep. As odd as that sounded, he never got tired of it. He would often sneak into the room in the middle of the night and just sit, sometimes pulling a chair over next to the bed, other times just settling on the edge of the mattress next to her, like he did today.

As a Time Lord, he had always had telepathic skills. He could feel some things that no one else could, and when he got close to people he started to feel the things they felt. When Rose was sleeping, the Doctor could feel how peaceful she was. It was so calming for him. He reached out, brushing back her golden bangs away from her face, and placed his fingers softly against her temples. He closed his eyes, matching hers. Ah, now he could feel it. His abilities did not allow for him to see what she was dreaming, but he could get the gist of it. He felt the emotions as strongly as she did, and from time to time, pictures or words would flit through his mind, the tiniest glimpses and hints, as if her thoughts were some sort of thousand-piece jigsaw puzzle that he had to put together. Today was a very good dream. Happy, Rose was so happy. Her company inside his head was warm, comforting. He caught the quick sound of his name, Rose beckoning to him. He smiled. This was a regular occurrence in Rose's dreams, and that pleased him more than he would like to admit.

But now he felt something different—that is, Rose was feeling something different. Doubt. Something about the Doctor, something he had done, had caused her to doubt him the tiniest bit. It was small, but powerful and at the forefront of her mind. She was hurt. The Doctor quickly withdrew his hands. This wasn't the first time he had seen this in her mind. It had happened a number of times, actually, and he was starting to realize why.

_I wish we could just let go, because the best part is falling_

_Call it anything but love_

Rose Tyler was in love with the Doctor. He did not say this out of arrogance, but merely because he knew it to be a fact. And if the way she acted and spoke when she was awake did not give it away (which it did), her emotions when she slept certainly did. Yes, it was clear; she had fallen in love with him. And the problem was that he had fallen for her as well.

They absolutely could not be together. This was another thing the Doctor was sure of. As much as he would love to spend the rest of his life travelling with the brilliant Rose Tyler, he just couldn't. He never aged. He would stay this young, exactly the same, while she grew older with every passing second. The curse of the Time Lords. She could make the choice to stay with him for her whole life, of course. He would just have to watch her die. And that was something he absolutely refused to do.

_So I will make sure to keep my distance_

_Say I love you when you're not listening_

_How long can we keep this up?_

The Doctor had chosen, instead, to remain at a safe distance from Rose. They had a wonderful friendship, there was no denying that. But if he got too close, too attached, then leaving her would be so much more difficult. It was inevitable that at some point, he would have to return her home where she belonged, with her mother and her friends and the rest of the human race. He needed it to be as easy for him as possible. The loneliness itself had the potential to destroy him, and he wasn't about to add the pain of heartbreak to that. He had been trying so hard to keep their relationship strictly platonic, as hard as it was, and had been mostly successful. But here, with no barriers, so much to think and so much to feel, it was hard not to imagine the two of them as so much more than what they really were. He couldn't tell her, he knew it, but it was so hard sometimes to not just blurt it out. I love you. His love belonged to her, and she didn't even know it. She couldn't.

_Please don't stand so close to me, I'm having trouble breathing_

_I'm afraid of what you'll see right now_

There had been times, times when he had almost given it away, almost slipped. He remembered every single one of them. One day they had been sitting together in the library, and he had settled down in an armchair with a great big book. The last time he checked, Rose had been wandering around, looking at the massive shelves and looking for something to read that she might enjoy and actually understand. But suddenly, her footsteps stopped, and the Doctor felt a presence next to him. She was standing right over his chair. She sat down on the arm, her hip brushing against the Doctor's shoulder as she leaned into him. "What are you reading?" she asked.

"History book," he had replied after a second, his eyes no longer comprehending the words on the page. His focus was now on the very, very short distance between himself and Rose. She was so close. He could feel her breath on his neck, and his whole body stiffened with her proximity, bearing the weight of all the things he could not say. Her face was right near the Doctor's, as she had been trying to read over her shoulder, and he could have turned and easily kissed her, no problem. She was very literally inches away. He could have pulled her so that she was sitting on his lap. He was about to give in and do it, really, but then she stood up to make another circle around the room.

"Boring," she declared from the ladder she had climbed up. "How can you read that stuff?" The Doctor didn't reply, pretending to adjust his glasses and go back to reading his book, but he had let out a huge sigh of relief. He couldn't keep it hidden much longer if she was going to do that.

There had been plenty of times when Rose had gotten very close, either standing next to him when he was working on the TARDIS, holding his hand when they were on some adventure, or even bumping him with her shoulder when he made some snarky comment. All of it was so overwhelming. He was so determined to never let her know how he felt, but it seemed she was wielding a sledgehammer, breaking down his resolve with every swing.

_I'll give you every part of me, all my broken heartbeats_

_Until I'm sure you'll understand_

Rose whimpered softly, turning in her sleep, her brow furrowed as though she was now having a bad dream. The Doctor knew the doubt was taking over, turning her previously sweet dreams into nightmares. The good thing about his telepathy, though, is that it worked both ways. When the other person's defenses were down, he could project his presence into their mind and at least attempt to stop their pain. Placing his fingers to her temples again, he pushed his way into her conscience, trying to calm her dreams and put her at ease. _Shh, Rose, _he thought, _I love you. I love you. I love you._ He repeated it again and again, his silent words settling into her mind, hoping that even if he could never tell her out loud, he could at least convince her subconscious that he really did return her feelings. _I love you._

The Doctor was willing to do anything for Rose. She kept him company, and in return, he was her protector. He kept her safe, no matter what. This wasn't the first time he had entered her thoughts. She had nightmares often, especially after a close escape with some kind of terrifying alien species. He knew that even though she had started to get a feel for this lifestyle of travelling, she was still shocked and scared by the things they experienced from time to time. Well, whatever they did, the Doctor would sacrifice everything to protect her. He would give his life in an instant, without second thoughts, if it meant keeping Rose alive and out of harm's way. But he couldn't love her. They were too different. He was a Time Lord, she a human. She had one heart, he had two. He could live forever, and she was terribly, incredibly mortal. She would get that, right? Rose would understand.

His mental mantra had calmed Rose, and she had settled back down into the pillows, the only movement her chest rising and falling. Sure that she was once again content, the Doctor moved his hands from her temples and instead caressed her cheeks, her neck, committing the feel of her soft skin to his memory. _I love you. I love you._

_And I will make sure to keep my distance_

_Say I love you when you're not listening_

_How long can we keep this up?_

Could he keep doing this? Could he keep hiding from her? It wouldn't be long before he slipped, and once he did, he knew he wouldn't be able to help falling in completely… and that was a deep hole. He couldn't escape it once he was inside. And now, sitting here, watching Rose sleep with the tiniest of smiles on her face because _I love you_ was the loudest thing in her dreams, he began to wonder if maybe it was time to let go and fall.

_I keep waiting for you to take me_

_And you keep waiting to save what we have_

No. He couldn't. He knew that she wanted to hear him say it out loud. She wanted the words straight from his lips. _I love you._ He could give her so much, he could show her so many things, and yet he could not give her this one thing. Or could he? And he felt so incredibly human saying that he didn't want to ruin their already established friendship, but once the feelings were in open air, there was no going back. He couldn't help but wonder if maybe half of what he felt was actually just suspense from the unspoken words between them. What if he was mistaking that for love? And once the feelings were admitted, would the novelty wear off? It was possible. Oh, but he knew that this was anything but true. He would never stop feeling this for Rose, and that's why he couldn't get any closer. She's going to be gone someday, he kept reminding himself. Don't make it hurt more than it already will.

_I'll make sure to keep my distance_

_Say I love you when you're not listening_

_How long can we keep this up?_

But what about Rose? When all of this was over and she was home on Earth, what would she have? She would have had the adventure of a lifetime, sure, but she would not have love. He wanted to give her a love she could remember, make sure that she would always keep him in her heart. He had been so jealous of Mickey, of Jack, all the men who had flirted with Rose in the past, who had captured her heart, even for a little while. He wanted to be that for her, give her that thrill.

He would do anything for her. Did that mean sacrificing his hearts to give her the love she deserved? Yes, a voice inside his head told him. Yes. For Rose, he had to. She needed someone to take care of her, to give her the whole world, and he could do that. And more importantly, she wanted him to. And he knew that it would be worth it, even when it was so hard to let her go, to know that she had been happy because he loved her, and she loved him in return.

He had to tell her.

Now.

Before he changed his mind.

Doctor, now.

Now.

_Make sure to keep my distance_

"Rose?" He placed a hand on her arm, shaking her gently. "Wake up, please."

Her eyes fluttered open, searching until she found his, and then opening wide with shock. "Doctor!" she exclaimed, instinctively pulling the covers up farther, her hand finding the strap of her tank top and placing it back on her shoulder. She was surprised for good reason; the Doctor had never been careless enough to wake her when he was watching her sleep. This was, for all she knew, the first time he had entered the room while she had inhabited it. "What is it?"

_Say I love you when you're not listening_

The Doctor sighed. This was it, this was happening. He was going to tell her. His hand flew up to adjust his tie in the nervous way he always did, before he took a deep breath and placed it back in his lap. Should he hold her hand? They always held hands, it was such a common thing, but now it just seemed daunting. He kept his hand where it was.

"Doctor?" Rose was confused, and rightly so. It wasn't often that he was at such a loss for words.

"There's… something I need to say."

He hesitated again. "Doctor, what is it?" she asked quietly. Rose made the decision for him, sitting up on one elbow and reaching with the other hand to take the Doctor's, concerned. She stroked over his skin with the pad of her thumb, the gesture comforting him slightly, and also making his hearts race at the same time. Oh god, he couldn't do this. He couldn't.

But he had to.

But he couldn't.

But he had to.

Now.

_How long until we call this love_

Now, Doctor. Tell her.

_Love_

"Rose Tyler…"

_Love?_


End file.
